July 16, 2020

When parents are writing their will, one of the most important things that will be included is the appointment of a guardian for their children. This is often the hardest part of writing the will. It can be hard for any parent to think of the situation that would require a guardian. Some parents have many good options and have a hard time choosing between them, and other parents struggle to think of any options at all. This part of the will may be difficult, but it cannot be avoided. There are things to consider that can help you decide.

What is a Legal Guardian?

A legal guardian is an adult who will be assigned to be the caregiver to any minor children in the event their parents are no longer able to. A legal guardian can be related to the family, such as a grandparent, aunt, uncle, or sibling. But a family friend with no relation can also be appointed as a legal guardian. The legal guardian will have full responsibility for the children until they are legal adults. They are responsible for their home, health, well-being, and managing their financial interests.

What Happens if Parents Don’t Choose a Guardian?

If parents put off or avoid the choice of a guardian, they leave the decision in the hands of the court. Without naming a guardian in a will, any wishes the parents may have had will not factor into the decision. While parents may not like to think of a situation that would leave their children in need of a guardian, it is worse to think that the court will take over that choice for them.

Determining What You Want in a Guardian

Both spouses should be involved in appointing a legal guardian. It’s important to discuss what type of care you want your children to receive. Are religious or political beliefs important? Would you want your child to stay in the same area you currently live? Are there parenting traits that you want your guardian to have? Do you consider them trustworthy and capable of good judgment? Most importantly, could they commit to the job of raising your child? Thinking of these basic attributes may help narrow your list. Each spouse should write down the friends or family members they think would be good choices. If both spouses selected the same candidates, the choice may be easy. If not, look at each candidate and evaluate their potential objectively. You likely will never find the perfect candidate, but you may have found some that are good options. If you are torn, trust your instincts and keep others in mind as alternates.

Talking to the Potential Guardians

Once you and your spouse have agreed on your choices, it is time to speak to those choices and ask them what they think. Explain why you chose them, what you are asking, and what you hope for your child if you will not be able to see them into adulthood. This is a serious decision for the guardian as well.

Officially Appointing a Legal Guardian

Once you have selected a guardian and they have agreed to accept the responsibility, you need to make it official. Both spouses will need to create their will and list the choice of guardian. Make sure their contact information is clear and correct. If you have an alternate or co-guardian, this will also need to be specified. You must write out all your wishes, as no verbal agreements will be considered if something happens to you. If anything changes, make sure to update your will accordingly. If it isn’t in the will, the court will take over.

Many parents put off this decision because they worry they will make the wrong choice, or they don’t want to think about the situation. While this is understandable, this is not a decision to delay. Try not to focus on finding the perfect person, but in choosing someone that you trust. While you want to be there for your children, the next best thing you can do is make sure that they are cared for no matter what. If you have questions about writing your will, or how to determine a legal guardian for your children, contact my office today.